One of the hardest things to do in this life is sometimes accepting what’s being shown to you and not the potential you hope it to be. I know this lesson because I’ve been battling this for months on end; stuck in an emotional limbo. However something happened to me last night, and at first I was angry but then an easing sensation of relief came over me, and now I feel liberated.
For me this is where it all started. I didn’t know what to think and or process the words I was hearing and the emotions I was feeling. It sucked hearing every word that was a let down, and it felt even worse to choke back the tears. How is it that I was doing everything right and then in an instant it all fell apart. So sudden? but then I realized that’s exactly it ! It wasn’t my fault it was their own short comings that I let effect my self worth and confidence. The best way out of this stage is to stop asking why something happened and start asking YOURSELF what can be done to guard and build yourself back up.
I wish I could tell you that it gets easier and that you’ll feel so great you won’t need to come to this, but that would be a lie. Now I’m not saying that you’ll be on your knees crying and begging, but you are going to want answers, reasons, to why things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. You’ll wonder if you could’ve done anything different been less attentive, cared less, offered less and is it too late to compromise. In this phase the best thing to do is to realize your self worth. Realize that who you are is MORE than enough and you don’t need to compromise you’re being for anyone; build your solid foundation.
It hurts, truth be told. You’ll ache in your chest and you’ll feel pain like never before. You’ll wish to run away and you’ll lose touch with reality because hurt is all you know. Every subtle thing will remind you of them and everyone will try to tell you how to feel and what you should do. Money will get spent on alcohol and tissues rather than the essentials. Of them all sadness is very hard to get past, but hard doesn’t mean impossible. Surround yourself with love until you are the embodiment of love itself. Treat yourself and work on your mind and read some books on self motivation and love.
You’ve cried yourself to sleep, and at this point you’re all teared out and angry. Anger is an emotion that’s usually in the gray area, and it’s normal to be upset when you’ve been wronged. Maybe anger is the kick start you need to figure things out to finally let go of those ties that tie you down and mean you no good. You’ll be able to live and move on, but don’t be driven to act on revenge or hold a grudge. It is that attitude that makes you bitter and closed off and that’s not how anyone should live their life.
Now this is your moment; the creme dela creme of your struggle. It is here that you can FINALLY exhale and let all that shit go, pardon the language, and move on. It is here that all those emotions no longer bother you and you feel better than you ever have through your entire limbo. Whether you’re accepting the outcome with a grain of salt or genuinely cutting ties with your head high, you’ve come a VERY long way and you should feel proud. This stage feels like a weight has been lifted and you smile and you realized the power that was held over you no longer exist and you have nothing but open opportunity in front of you. THE most important thing about this stage is seeing how much you’ve grown and recording the signs to live a better future and DO NOT go back. Will that be hard? Absolutely, but the point is you’ve come so far and no one has ever written a new chapter rereading the old ones. Acceptance is yours, and courage is walking away when you know that nothing else can be given.
Until next time,